Whether we admit it or not, we all harbour some form of bad habits. Recognizing these habits' influence on our lives is the first step in the journey towards self-improvement.
Science of How Habit Works: The 3 R's of Habit Change
There is a simple 3–step pattern that every habit follows. I call this pattern the “3 R's of Habit
Change” and it goes like this...
1. Reminder (the trigger that initiates the behavior)
2. Routine (the behavior itself; the action you take)
3. Reward (the benefit you gain from doing the behavior)
How 3 R’s look like: In this case, answering a phone call.
Step One: Your phone rings (reminder). This is the reminder that initiates the behavior. The ring acts as a trigger or cue to tell you to answer the phone. It is the prompt that starts the behavior.
Step Two: You answer your phone (routine). This is the actual behavior. When your phone rings, you have a habit of answering it.
Step Three: You find out who is calling (reward). The reward is the benefit gained from doing the behavior. In this case, the reward for completing the habit was satisfying your curiosity to find out why the other person was calling you.
Result: If the reward is positive, then the cycle forms a positive feedback loop that tells your brain, “Next time this reminder happens, do the same thing.” (i.e. When the phone rings again, answer it.)
Follow this same cycle enough times and you'll stop thinking about it. Your behavior will just become a habit.
How can you use this structure to create new habits and actually stick to them?
Step 1: Use a Current Habit as the Reminder for Your New One
How to Choose Your Reminder
The best way to discover a good reminder for your new habit is to write down two lists.
In the first list, write down the things that you do each day without fail.
For example, …
★ Get in the shower.
★ Put your shoes on.
★ Brush your teeth.
★ Flush the toilet.
You’ll often find that many of these items are daily health habits like washing your face, drinking morning tea, brushing your teeth, and so on. Those actions can act as reminders for new health
habits.
For example, “After I drink my morning tea, I meditate for 60 seconds.”
In the second list, write down the things that happen to you each day...
★ You stop at a red light.
★ You get a text message.
★ A commercial comes on TV.
★ A song ends.
★ The sun sets.
These events can also act as triggers for your new habit. For example, if you wanted to “When a commercial comes on TV, I do five pushups.”
With these two lists, you’ll have a wide range of things that you already do and already respond
to each day. Those are the perfect reminders for new habits.
For example, let’s say you want to feel happier. Expressing gratitude is one proven way to boost
happiness. Using the list above, you could pick the reminder “sit down for dinner” and use it as a cue to say one thing that you’re grateful for today.
“When I sit down for dinner, I say one thing that I’m grateful for today. ”
That’s the type of small behavior that could blossom into a more grateful outlook on life in
general.
Step 2: Make Your Habits Incredibly Easy to Start
If you want to start a new habit and begin living healthier and happier, then: start small. In the words of Leo Babauta, “make it so easy that you can’t say no.”
In the beginning, performance doesn’t matter. What does matter is becoming the type of person who always sticks to your new habit – no matter how small or insignificant it seems. You can build up to the level of performance that you want once the behavior becomes consistent.
Step 3: Always Reward Yourself
For example, if I’m working towards a new fitness goal, then I’ll often tell myself at the end of a workout, “That was a good day.” Or, “Good job. You made progress today.”
If you feel like it, you could even tell yourself “Victory!” or “Success!” each time you do your new habit.
Some people swear by it.
★ Floss one tooth. “Victory!”
★ Eat a healthy meal. “Success!”
★ Do five pushups. “Good work!”
Make sure that the habits you are trying to build are actually important to you.
25 Steps to Break Any Bad Habit
PART I: LAYING THE FOUNDATION FOR A HABIT CHANGE
Step 1: Know the Difference between Bad Habits and Addictions
Do you have an addiction?
The following questions will help you determine the true answer.
Do you:
Experience withdrawal symptoms when you stop doing the behavior (e.g. lack of focus, anger, frustration or insomnia)?
Stop doing the activities you once found enjoyable to engage in this habit instead?
Go on binges whenever you do the habit?
Keep a stash or supply of the product for emergencies (i.e. hiding bottles of alcohol throughout your home)?
Obsess about doing the activity to the point where it interferes with your daily routine?
Have financial difficulties because you’ve spent all of your money on the activity?
Have trouble limiting the activity? For instance, one pint turns into a binge-drinking session that ends with you blacking out.
Have health issues directly related to this activity?
Engage in risky behavior whenever doing this activity?
Do the activity as a way to deal with stress and emotional problems?
Deny or hide your behavior from others?
Damage your interpersonal relationships because of this activity?
Sometimes you might want to seek out a professional solution to your possible addiction. Here are few ways to do this:
Talk to a psychologist or psychiatrist who specializes in addictions.
Join a group like NA (Narcotics Anonymous) or AA (Alcoholics Anonymous).
Join a weight-loss group that emphasizes permanent life changes instead of fad diets.
Ask your doctor about different (non-addictive) ways to battle cravings.
Step 2: Focus On one Habit at a time
Even if you want to change multiple areas of your life, it’s best to commit to one habit change at a time. That way, you can focus all your mental energy on making one change.
Step 3: Commit to a 30-day Habit Challenge
In a way, the 30DHC tricks your mind into forming a new habit. It’s easy to do something unpleasant if you think it’s only for a month. And when the time expires, you’ll be close to making a permanent change.
The 30DHC also gives you an “out” if the new habit isn’t working. At the end of the month, you can decide if it’s worth continuing. That said, what usually happens is you want to maintain that momentum and keep going, even at the end of the 30-day period.
ACTION PLAN
(1*) Have a Reason Why: Start by journaling about this habit. Give a specific reason why it matters. What you write is irrelevant. The important thing is to know why you want to make this change and what result you expect from this experience.
(2*) Obstacles: Use your journal to track triggers by writing them as they occur. Include the following important information: Where are you? Who is with you? What are you doing? What thoughts are in your head?
This data is very important for eliminating the bad habit and replacing it with something positive.
(3*) Action Plan: Write down an overview of the habit, along with the step-by-step actions you’ll take. Be sure to include any tools or environmental cues that will help or hinder your completion of this new routine.
(4*) Results: Track your success with a daily metric. The tool I use is Lift.do, which tracks all my current habits.
You can track a habit in a variety of ways:
Yes or No (Did you do it today or not?)
Quantity (How many times did you complete the habit?)
Number (Are you over or under the set “quota”?)
Time (How long did you spend on this habit every day?)
(5*) Verdict: It’s important to make a decision after 30 days.
I recommend doing one of three things: (1) Keep It: Continue to track this habit on a daily basis. Try to turn it into a permanent change. (2) Ditch It: The habit didn’t work for some reason, so stop doing it. (3) Tweak It: Some habit changes won’t work because you created a bad process. Change the routine and try it again.
Step 4: Set a Start Date
Write down the date when you’ll start this habit change. It’s important to take this goal seriously, so having an official “countdown” will help you stay on track. You should also tell friends and family members about this goal to get their support. Start as soon as possible. Sure, it won’t be a full month, but the important thing is you’re taking immediate action.
Step 5: Identify the Target Goal
1. For instance, you can’t say,
“I want to eat healthier.” Instead, you need to identify what foods to eat, what foods to avoid and the date when this change will happen.
2. The following would be a better goal:
“On August 1, I will no longer eat fast food from places like McDonald’s or Burger King. Instead, I will eat home-cooked meals that combine vegetables with lean protein and
unrefined carbohydrates.”
Step 6: Avoid Cold Turkey Solutions
It’s easier to chunk down a habit change into small actions. That way, you’re not drawing too much from your overtaxed willpower. The idea here is to create small wins that build emotional momentum, which helps you prevent those spectacular failures that often happen with cold turkey solutions.
As an example, it’s impossible to overhaul your entire diet in a single month. What you could do instead is focus on a small aspect of your diet for the next 30 days, like not eating at a fast food restaurant. Then when you’ve eliminated this habit, you can chip away at the other negative aspects of your diet.
Step 7: Set a Baseline Metric
Your aim is to wean yourself from the habit by setting target goals that consistently decrease the amount of time you spend on it.
It all starts with a baseline metric. This metric can vary according to the specific habit you’re trying to change:
A daily “yes” or “no” for eating fast food
The number of cigarettes smoked every day
The number of times each day you bite your fingernails
How much you currently weigh
The number of calories you consume on a daily basis
How many drinks you consume while “going out”?
The amount of time spent on Facebook or surfing the Interne
The amount of time spent watching television
Step-8: Create Incremental Goals
EXAMPLE: Let’s say you’re a smoker who averages 20 cigarettes a day. Your ultimate goal is to completely eliminate this habit. But for now, you’d stick to these incremental goals:
15 cigarettes each day for weeks 1 to 3
10 cigarettes each day for weeks 4 to 6
5 cigarettes each day for weeks 7 to 9
3 cigarettes each day for weeks 10 to 12
1 (or fewer) cigarettes each day for weeks 13 and beyond
PART 2: UNDERSTAND YOUR HABIT LOOP
Step 9: Identify the Habit Routine
Once you’ve scheduled a “start date,” you’ll want to take time to understand the three-step pattern of your habit:
The Cue: A situational trigger based on a reward you’re seeking.
The Reward: The satisfaction you seek by following the routine.
The Routine: A physical or emotional action you take to obtain the reward.
Step 10: Record the Habit Triggers
To make a permanent change, you need to fully understand when and why these “triggers” occur. You can easily do this by recording five pieces of information whenever you feel the need to engage in a bad habit:
Location: Record where you are.
Time: Write down the exact time when you felt the urge.
Mood: Record your emotional state and what you’re thinking.
People: Who is with you or who is around you?
Action: What did you just do? What are you currently doing?
Step 11: Try Different Rewards
The interesting thing about bad habits is they often come from a desire to receive a subconscious reward. Usually we do them because we want to feel relaxed, happy, energized, accepted or loved.
The good news is you can substitute a bad habit with a new routine and still receive this positive benefit. The trick is to experiment with rewards and find one that produces the same subconscious reward.
Step 12: See what Works
Let’s go back to our drinking example.
You tried exercise and meditation, but neither reduced your stress levels. What did work was forming new friendships with people who don’t spend their time in a bar. These positive people help you feel relaxed, which minimizes the tense feeling you experience before having a drink.
You also know that Dave (one of your buddies from O’Brien’s Bar & Grille) loves hiking, which is an activity you also enjoy. This means you can minimize your drinking while staying connected to one of your friends.
Step 13: Create an “If –Then Plan”
It often takes a few weeks of experimenting to find a replacement habit. Eventually, though, you’ll find a routine that produces the same reward. When that happens, you should realign your mindset to focus on repeating this behavior instead of dwelling on the habit you’re trying to eliminate.
The best way to make a lasting change is to follow a step-by-step plan whenever you experience that impulse to revert back to old behavior.
All of this is possible with an if-then plan.
Once again, let’s go back to the drinking example. Here are a few new strategies you could implement:
“When Dave invites me to O’Brien’s, I will suggest a hike instead.”
“On ‘Football Sunday,’ I will attend Meetup.com activities instead of hitting the bar.”
“At 5:00 every day, I will go for a 30-minute walk to reduce stress.”
The idea here is to identify your “weak spots” and create a plan for how you’ll act. This will be your first line of defense against a bad-habit impulse. Whenever a craving strike, you’ll know exactly what to do instead.
Step 14: Use “Habit Reminders” to Stay Consistent
Habit reminders are a great way to build a new routine. Write these reminders down on a piece of paper you keep with you at all times, or add them as alerts on your cellphone. These reminders might seem silly, yet they act as a great catalyst to keep repeating your replacement habit.
PART 3: BUILD A SUPPORT SYSTEM
Step 15: Keep an accountability Journal
Depending on the nature of the routine, here are a few things to include in an accountability journal:
Number of times you do the bad habit
Amount of time you spend doing this activity
Total calories, broken down by individual foods
Current weight and/or body mass index
Feelings, emotions and impulses
Challenges you’re currently experiencing
Step 16: Make a Public declaration
Social networks have become a major part of our daily existence, so a great way to harness these friendships is to ask for support on your habit change goal.
Nobody wants to look bad. Post updates of your habit change on social media account to get encouragement from your friends. Create a simple tweet or Facebook post, or use a mobile phone app like Lift.do. Lift automatically updates your account with progress reports.
Never underestimate the power of social approval. Simply knowing you have to be accountable for your actions keeps you focused on a habit change.
Step 17: Find an Accountability Partner
A way to supercharge your replacement habit efforts is to meet with someone who shares a similar desire to change that behavior.
You can talk with this person a few times each week and share your experiences. If they live locally, you can meet in person to build the new routine together. This is a great strategy if you’d like to replace a poor health habit with regular exercise.
Another idea is to find a “sponsor” who can talk you through those moments of weakness. Simply call this person when you feel tempted and they’ll help you overcome the challenge.
Step 18: Ignore the Nay Sayers
As an example, you could do any (or all) of the following:
“If my parents remind me of past failures, then I will politely change the subject.”
“If I post a status on social media and get a negative response from someone, then I will either remove that person as a friend or “mute” their updates.”
“If I don’t get a positive experience from a habit-building tool, then I will download another app that reinforces my new behavior.”
“If the people around me dwell in negativity, then I will start surrounding myself with more positive people.”
Step 19: Avoid Trigger Locations
During the weeks while you’re testing a replacement habit, try to avoid the places that might cause you to revert back to your old behavior.
For instance, many people smoke while they’re drinking. So, if you’re looking to eliminate the cigarette habit, the best thing you can do is avoid the bar scene. Yes, this might mean ditching your friends for a brief period, but this strategy can help you minimize the impulses you’ll feel to light up.
PART 4: OVERCOME CHALLENGES
Step 20: Maintain a Healthy Life Style and Attitude
Ego depletion can leave your willpower in a weakened state. If you’re always tired, hungry, stressed or depressed, you’re more likely to succumb to temptation.
A simple way to fight ego depletion is to live a healthy lifestyle.
Getting a full night’s sleep to feel energized in the morning.
Staying hydrated by drinking at least eight, 8-ounce cups of water every day.
Eating a balanced meal every day—including fruits, vegetables, (good) carbohydrates and lean protein.
Carrying healthy snacks with you to eat when you feel hungry.
Exercising to reduce stress and maintain an optimal weight.
Step 21: Beware the “What- the – Hell Effect
For instance, let’s say your goal is to smoke fewer than 10 cigarettes per day. Unfortunately, one day you slip up and smoke 12 instead. What you shouldn’t do is have this attitude: “What the hell, since I’ve already smoked 12 cigarettes, I might as well enjoy the day and smoke the whole pack!”
The what-the-hell effect is a dangerous threat to your habit change. Whenever you slip up, simply accept the failure and focus on minimizing the damage. More importantly, never use it as an excuse to do more of the bad habit.
Step 22: Practice Streaking
The “streak habit” works because you create permanent routines. You don’t worry about individual successes or failures. Instead, you focus on repeating the process day in and day out.
If you’re an aspiring writer, you write every day. If you want to eat better, you stick to a sensible food plan every day. And if you want to be more productive, you complete a small list of your most important daily tasks.
It’s not hard to form a habit when you have the “no-excuse” mindset. Simply focus on doing it—without fail—every single day and it’ll turn into a permanent routine.
Step 23: Forgive yourself
While it’s important to be strict about a habit change, you want to avoid filling your head with negative thoughts. A mistake is a mistake. It doesn’t mean you’re weak-willed or lazy. It means you’re human like the rest of us.
Step 24: Celebrate Small Wins
Small wins make you feel like you’re accomplishing something. If you focus too much on the habit you’re trying to break, you’ll never feel like you’re making progress. By focusing on small wins, you’ll have the motivation to keep going when you experience those moments of temptation.
Step 25: Focus on the Journey, Not the destination
Habit development is like running a marathon. You can’t start training today and expect to run 26.2 miles next week. But if you keep at it for a year, it’s not hard to complete one of these events. The key to building any habit is consistency and daily action. Stay focused on what you need to do right now, ignoring what might happen in the future.
Understanding the Nature of Bad Habits
Bad habits are more than just certain actions that we repeatedly do; they can also be attitudes and behavioral patterns deeply ingrained within our system. Some of the common bad habits include procrastination, spending without planning, emotional eating, frequent use of digital devices, and other unhealthy lifestyle practices. Understanding the nature of these habits involves acknowledging them, identifying the triggers, and recognizing the negative impacts they have on us.
Acknowledging bad habits: The first step to breaking a habit is admitting that you have one.
Identifying triggers: Understanding the factors or situations that cause you to engage in a bad habit.
Recognizing impacts: It is vital to understand how these habits affect your personal, professional, and social life.
Identification of Bad Habits
Understanding and acknowledging one's bad habits is the first step towards successful personal development. This process requires careful introspection and honest self-evaluation.
Unhealthy Habits: A Closer Look
Bad habits can take many forms ranging from procrastination and overindulgence in unhealthy food to more severe behaviors like smoking and excessive alcohol consumption. Each one holds the potential to affect multiple areas of your life and lead to serious consequences if not addressed:
Procrastination: This leads to a backlog of tasks, mounting stress, and compromised productivity.
Overeating unhealthy food: This can cause weight gain, increased risk of diseases, and a decrease in overall wellbeing.
Smoking and Alcohol: These habits increase the risk of severe health issues like heart diseases, cancer, and liver problems over time.
The Impact of Bad Habits on Personal Development
Bad habits are not just detrimental to your physical health, but also play a significant role in inhibiting personal development. They create roadblocks by reducing your self-confidence, hindering productivity, disrupting concentration, and limiting your capability to achieve goals. Overcoming bad habits is, therefore, crucial to unleashing the full potential of your personal growth and success. In the next section, we will explore strategies for breaking these bad habits.
The Psychology Behind Bad Habits
Deep-seated within our neural pathways, bad habits have a firm grip over our actions and, consequently, our lives. Understanding the psychological underpinnings is crucial to successfully combat these and steer towards a fulfilling life.
Bad Habits and the Brain
Our bad habits are intricately linked to the nuanced operations of our brain. Every action we undertake releases certain chemicals that induce a specific feeling. Bad habits trigger a dopamine rush, which acts as the immediate reward for the activity, hence maintaining the cycle. Here are some key points:
Habits, both bad and good, form neural patterns which are strengthened with repetition.
The brain, in its attempt to conserve energy, defaults to the established behavior.
Psychological Theories Surrounding Bad Habits
There exist numerous theories on the formulation and sustaining of bad habits. One prominent theory is the habit loop, which consists of a trigger, routine, and reward. This loop, as proposed by Charles Duhigg in "The Power of Habit," is the cycle our brain undertakes almost instinctively. Another psychological theory points to our inherent tendency for instant gratification - we are often more inclined to derive immediate pleasure rather than delay for a larger gain.
Steps Towards Breaking Bad Habits
Unleashing the power within you begins with identifying that power. The first step towards breaking bad habits is to recognize them and their triggers. Enlighten yourself about the consequences they bring forth and create an action plan to combat them. Let's walk through the process in detail:
Spot the Habit: You can't fix an issue without understanding it thoroughly. Make a list of the habits you wish to change.
Find the Triggers: Use introspection to identify what triggers these habits.
Establish Consequences: Understand the negative impact of your habits on your health, personal development, or relationships.
Develop an Action Plan: With your identified habit, the trigger, and its consequence, gear up to take action. Develop a plan comprising small, realistic goals.
Implementing Behavior Change
To initiate the process of changing bad habits, it's crucial to understand how behaviors form and what keeps them alive.
How to Begin the Process of Behavior Change
Recognizing the issue is always the first step in any change process. Once you've identified the habit you wish to change, dissect it into three parts: the trigger, the routine, and the reward. The trigger signals the brain to initiate a behavior, the routine is the behavior itself, and the reward is the benefit the brain perceives from the behavior. By dissecting the habit into these components, you'll be better equipped to tackle it.
Here are some specific action steps:
Identify the bad habit you want to change, and be specific about what it involves.
Examine the triggers and rewards associated with the habit to understand why it’s persisting.
Develop an actionable plan to replace the bad habit with a positive one, using the same triggers and a comparable reward.
Life Improvement: What to Expect After Breaking Bad Habits
Breaking bad habits can provide myriad benefits. It can improve your overall physical health, enhance your mental well-being, and even boost your financial status depending on the habit you're replacing. Additionally, it can free up time for more productive activities and relationships. Overcoming bad habits also enhances your self-esteem and promotes personal development, marking the beginning of a new journey toward your best self. Replacing a negative habit with a positive one often creates a domino effect, encouraging more good habits to form in its place. Be ready to embrace these life improvements as you break free from the grip of harmful patterns.
The Role of Mindset in Breaking Bad Habits
Your mindset plays a pivotal role in instigating and maintaining behavior change. Having the wrong mindset about breaking bad habits can lead to repeated failures, thereby reinforcing the belief that change is impossible. However, by fostering the correct mindset—what psychologists call a 'growth mindset'—you can significantly enhance your chances of successfully breaking free from detrimental habits.
Developing a Growth Mindset for Habit Change
A growth mindset presumes that abilities and behaviors can be developed over time through persistent effort, patience, and grit. This mindset is contrasted with a fixed mindset, which assumes that our capabilities are objectively set and immutable. For successfully breaking bad habits, developing a growth mindset is crucial. Here are some strategies to cultivate such a mindset:
Embrace Challenges: Instead of avoiding or dreading challenges, see them as opportunities for growth.
Practice Persistence: Don't give up easily, stay committed to your habit change process.
Get Comfortable with Discomfort: Real growth often requires stepping outside your comfort zone.
Techniques to Foster Positive Thinking
In addition to a growth mindset, fostering positive thinking is crucial. Positive thinking helps you remain motivated and resilient, even when faced with setbacks. Techniques to foster positive thinking include:
Daily Affirmations: Start each day with positive statements about your ability to change.
Gratitude Journaling: Recognize and appreciate the good in your life.
Visualization Techniques: Imagine yourself successfully overcoming your bad habit, and relish in the positivity of that success.
Conclusion
As we journey towards the path of personal development and behavior change, remember that breaking bad habits is only the beginning. There will always be continuous work, further growth, and new challenges to face. Seek to understand yourself, acknowledge your imperfections, take responsibility for your actions, and consistently strive towards being a better version of yourself every day.
Inspiring Quotes about Breaking Bad Habits
To keep you motivated, here are some inspiring quotes about breaking bad habits:
"The secret of change is to focus all of your energy not on fighting the old, but on building the new." – Socrates
"Your net worth to the world is usually determined by what remains after your bad habits are subtracted from your good ones." – Benjamin Franklin
"All our life, so far as it has definite form, is but a mass of habits." – William James
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